What Your Partner Can Do To Help?

What Your Partner Can Do To Help?

There is no doubt about it, it takes teamwork to get through the newborn phase. Whether you are being supported by your partner, family or close friends, sharing the load is so important and will help you to look after yourself and enjoy this special time. The trouble is, our support network can’t read our minds and if you’re going through this for the first time, you may not even know what to ask for. 

I personally found it quite hard to ask for help. It doesn't come naturally and I wasn’t really sure what to ask for. Being a first time mum and not thinking very clearly in the early days, I struggled to articulate what I needed my husband to do for me to lighten the load. I would have loved a list of items that we could have referred to for ideas during this time. So here you have it, we have asked around and created a list for you to hand to your support person. Feel free to add or remove anything you like to make this more personalised for you and hand it over! Remember to always ask for help when you need it and accept it when it is offered. 

- Han

We asked a bunch of new mum's on what they found helpful and we've drafted the perfect 'letter' for you to pass on to your partner. It's not always easy to ask for help so we hope this helps! Copy and paste into your message thread or send this as a link. 

Hey babe, 

We’re on the most exciting, wonderful and wild ride of our lives right now, I can’t believe we have created this little person together, go us!

I’m happy to admit that I’m probably not thinking very clearly right now, for very obvious reasons. Often, I can’t think of anything to say when you ask how you can help me. To help me articulate what i'm thinking, I’ve created a list of things you can do to help.

This letter says the words i'm too tired to use. Thank you for caring for me and our baby and thank you for being patient with me while I try my best to figure out my new role. I love doing this with you, together we’ve got this. I love you.

  • Please fill up my water bottle when I’m feeding and ask if I’d like anything to eat
  • When you walk in the door, please ask if I need anything - water, food, bathroom, shower, pain relief, heat pack, ice pack, towel, jumper - ANYTHING
  • Cook/organise all of our meals
  • Put on one load of washing a day
  • Empty the dishwasher
  • Keep the house tidy, please don’t leave your stuff lying around
  • Drop a coffee off at some point in the morning
  • All the nappy changes when you are at home
  • Do not interrupt me while I’m showering
  • Bring home a treat after work - flowers, chocolates, bottle of wine - anything 
  • Do bathtime 
  • Do the dream feed if bub takes a bottle
  • After I have fed our baby, could you please do the settling so that I can get some sleep, eat or shower
  • If bub is really upset, try taking them for a walk or a drive so I can have the house to myself for a while
  • Sterilise the bottles so they are ready to go if I need to express
  • Do the grocery shopping or look after the baby so I can go the shops on my own
  • Have snacks and nibbles in the house for visitors
  • Know the nap times and wake windows - try not to leave this up to me 
  • Tell me I’m amazing!
  • Read this list rather than asking me what you can do to help, one less decision for me to make in a day is a win.

    Love, me & baby.

  • Tackle this phase as a team and remember that you are both feeling out of your depth at times and learning as you go. Communicate openly and honestly and bring things up before they become a big deal. Be kind to each other and enjoy these special moments as a family together.

    Back to blog

    Leave a comment